And there it stopped…

Warning! If you have a thing against/phobia for feet/toes, do not read this post!

So on Friday I went to my physiotherapist and he told me I could start jogging again! The joy was indescribable! So I got home and I was sort of jumping around with happiness; it was Friday, I had a nice weekend ahead of me and I would be able to go out for a nice jog! Then, in the middle of the joy and happiness I walked into our living room, a bit too fast, and walked straight into our swivel chair… The pain! My little toe got stuck on one of the wheels of the swivel chair, while i was still walking forwards. The result; an extremely painful, swollen toe, that later turned redish-blue. I couldn’t really walk on it and it still hurts walking on it, so I think I might have broken it or sprained it badly. Either way it ruled out that jog I have longed for!

My little toe all bruised…

All taped up to the toe next to it.

So instead of going out for a run I cycled for 20min pretty fast. The cycling shoes were perfect for the toe as I can’t move my toes inside them. After that I did my physio exercises and stretches. Hopefully I’ll be OK for yoga on Tuesday!

Update on the knee!

I am another physiotherapy session richer! Had a new physiotherapist today and he was quite cool, a bit confused but friendly and fun. I, and my knee, seem to be doing well but there is still lots to do and I need to persevere with my exercises. The yoga at work seems to be doing me really good as well. This weekend I will try and do lots of my exercises and do them more properly than I manage during the week.  Hopefully the weather will be nice so that I can do them all outside!

The knee 12 weeks on

 

Look on the bright side of life.

What I really want to do right now is to hide under a big blanket never to emerge again. As you know I got the results from my “Doctorate in Educational Psychology”-interview yesterday, and you’ve probably guessed from the first sentence of this post that I was unsuccessful.

A part of me is not surprised at all, at the interview I was extremely nervous and already half way through the day I felt that I wasn’t giving my best at all. I got muddled and giggly (as I do when I get nervous) and was not giving a good impression. On my way home I was upset with myself and deep down inside I knew I wasn’t going to get in. But a small part of myself still hoped. Hoped that everyone else was a lot worse than me. And it’s that part of me that is disappointed and upset.

It is understandable that I am upset and disappointed, I mean this was the chance of my life! The thing I am most disappointed about is that it feels as if my life is not going anywhere at the moment. I feel stuck. I have for a long time had this feeling of “stuckness” and yesterday I could finally put in words why I feel so stuck. The situation I am in is so insecure; me and Rob are renting our flat, knowing that if our landlord decides he wants the flat back for some reason we would have to move. We both are in jobs that we know we’re not going to have forever (both planning on changing jobs and moving up the career ladder/study some more, etc.), and at the moment we don’t have a huge amount of savings. This all makes us financially vulnerable, we can’t plan for the future, something that makes me feel as if life has no point to it. Not getting in on the doctorate confirmed this feeling of being stuck.

However, yesterday I decided that I was going to allow myself to be disappointed and upset, after all it is understandable and it is OK to have these feelings. Denying myself to feel is something I’ve been doing too long, which more than once has made me take my feelings out on food and the way I can control it, allowing myself to feel will curb this. But I also decided that I was going to look at the positives of this whole thing. So here’s my list of positives:

• I now have the experience of doing one of these interviews and I know what to change for next time. Also my nerves won’t play such a big part either next time.
• I will have time and hopefully money to start doing my driving lessons! I’ve got the theory done and have about 18 months to sort my practical out.
• I actually enjoy my job and the people I work with are great. My job will also give me great experience.
• I will get another 3 pay rises at work.

May goals

Time to update those monthly goals!

My April Goals were:

• Continue with my physiotherapy exercises and do them at least 2 times a day. This has not really worked. I get home from work exhausted most days and late so I mainly have time for dinner and to go to bed… But I have been doing some of them throughout my day at work when I can and properly on weekends.
• Start with the yoga sessions at work. Well, yoga got cancelled one week and the next time I forgot my kit at home. But today I actually went! It was great and very challenging for my muscles!
  
• Send off a first draft of my article to my old supervisor. This is something that is still in progress, I’m almost there!
• Not think of the results I’ll get on the 3rd of May too much, whatever it says! This has not worked at all… I have been thinking about non-stop… But it hasn’t intruded on my life too much.
• Make sure I have cheap and healthy packed lunches to work every day. This has worked very well! Haven’t had one shop-bought lunch all of April!

May goals:

• Do my physiotherapy exercises as often and as much as I can.
• Continue with the yoga sessions at work.
• Keep working on my article.
• Be constructive, not destructive, about the decision I will get from Southampton Uni, whatever the decision is.
• Continue with the cheap and healthy packed lunches for work.
• Become better at saving money.

And another week just went by…

So it’s Sunday already, and almost the end of April! Where does time go? It seems like so much time passes so quickly and I never get the chance to do anything worthwhile. Don’t understand how that goes together…

Anyway, today has been a lovely day. Met up with the lovely North London Young Diabetics group and had Sunday lunch. Such a lovely bunch! Had a lovely afternoon with a roast lunch/dinner and a Früli strawberry beer. Yum yum. Then I went and got my haircut. No major difference, just taking off an inch of the ends and make it look healthier But things like that are nice to have done.

Now I’ll have to get cracking with my article writing and then I need to do all my physio exercises!

Quick list

Who made you laugh today/yesterday?
It’s too early today, so no one has made me laugh yet as I’m the only person up! But yesterday my lovely team at work made me laugh bucket loads!

What are you doing right now? I’m watching BBC Breakfast in my pyjamas and finishing off my cup of tea. Soon I’ll be tidying away a few things and then jump into the shower

What does the rest of the day look like?
After the shower I’ll get dressed and that is probably the best part of the day. For work I have to think of dressing down quite a lot, as I work with severely learning disabled children who on top of that have complex autism, so our clothes are at risk of getting broken and dirty. Dressing up at weekends is therefore something I love! Anyway, after that I’ll meet up some friends for lunch. Looking forward to that too.

What happens tonight?
Rob’s mum and her partner will come by for some dinner.

And on Sunday?
Will meet up with some people with type 1 diabetes for Sunday lunch! Met up with them last Monday and we won a pub quiz. The prize was £30 behind the bar that we can spend on food and drink! Exercise and writing my article will also be a big part of my Sunday

What do your last three texts say?

1. “OK, no probs. Love you” From Rob when I texted that I was probably going to be late home as I got stuck in the pub, oops!

2. “Still here! The doctor has just seen him and his mum is on her way and hopefully we won’t be too long! X” From Hannah when I asked when she and Alison was going to be at the pub. They had to take one of the children from school to hospital.

3. “Hey gal, wishing you a very Happy Birthday hope you’re having a wonderful day” From Poonam (my supervisor at work) wishing me happy birthday last weekend.

Not just normal walking

Today I tried out to walk with some wrist weights just to challenge myself a little bit extra. The weather was gorgeous and I walked fast for 35min and then I did all my physio exercises (squats, squats on one leg, clam exercises, and several stretches) + 20 situps outside. The wrist weights were a nice change to my normal walks and I could feel it a little in my arms afterwards. Love my workouts so much now and I feel so strong! Looking forward to getting even stronger

My wrist weight just before I went outside.